The Passengers’ Airplane Behavior Bill of Rights

e21d2a990c41.jpg The Passengers’ Airplane Behavior Bill of Rights power News lavatory Freedom flight flash child book bad odor airplanes airplane

46b77a7fa915.jpg The Passengers’ Airplane Behavior Bill of Rights power News lavatory Freedom flight flash child book bad odor airplanes airplane

f85be8c5ad19.jpg The Passengers’ Airplane Behavior Bill of Rights power News lavatory Freedom flight flash child book bad odor airplanes airplane

Article I: The right to remove shoes
Passengers shall be allowed to remove shoes from their feet, but only if the aforementioned feet don’t stink or present health risks to other passengers. The right of the passenger to go to the lavatory without shoes shall not be infringed, as it is really your own business should you want to stand in the urine of others.

Article II: Freedom from unreasonable aromatic assault
No passenger shall, in the time of flight, be subjected to unreasonable aromas, be it from powerful perfume, foods redolent of onion, or other fragrance wholly unnecessary whilst on an airplane.

Article III: The right to reasonable light
All passengers shall be allowed the right to use their own overhead light to read when the cabin lights are turned off, as that is its intended use. No passenger shall be unwillingly bothered by the thoughtless opening of window shades during this period; window seat passengers are not delegated the power to blind their fellow passengers.

Article IV: The article of reclension
A well-justified act of reclining one’s seat shall not be prohibited at all times, apart from meal time and other times specified by the flight crew. All instances of reclension shall be preceded by a rearward glance so as not to unwittingly crush the patellas or portable electronic devices of the affected passenger.

Article V: Freedom of no speech
There shall be no requirement for other passengers to listen to you drone on about your child, cat or other subject not directly germane to an immediate inflight emergency situation. The right of other passengers to give you the ‘book-off’ shall not be infringed, nor shall you assist with the answer to 14-across if unprompted.

Article VI: The right to bear armrests
In all cases where an armrest is shared by two adjacent passengers, both parties must respect the right of the other to keep the armrest down. Passengers relegated to a middle seat shall be afforded special status, and aisle and window passengers shall endeavour to accommodate.

Article VII: Conditions of passenger quarters
Passengers shall not be subject to the rubbish of others crammed thoughtlessly into seat-back pockets, or tossed onto the floor in a cavalier fashion. Chewing gum shall not be pressed to any surface affixed to an aircraft.

Article VIII: The right to heed the call of nature
A well-organised attempt to use the lavatory, being necessary for inflight calm and gastrointestinal health, shall not be impeded by aisle passengers sleeping or otherwise. The rights of others waiting to use a lavatory shall supersede the frankly ill-advised wishes of current lavatory users to waste time poking around said lavatory.

Article IX: Provisions concerning use of electronic devices
The assurance of safety shall not be infringed by the desires of others to make one last phone call, update their social network status to brag about their impending holiday, or to plant cauliflower in their virtual farm. Whilst MythBusters and others have debunked most potential dangers of using common electronic devices on planes, safety and calm shall take precedence.

Article X: Cruel and unnecessary aisle clogging
No passenger shall, in the time of disembarking, hastily grab their bag and congest the exit route before actual movement is possible. Likewise, when it comes time to exit, no passenger shall unaccountably act surprised that it is their turn to leave.

Article XI: Freedom from feral children
The right of passengers not to be kicked in the back, have their hair pulled, be presented with unasked-for mucous-moistened objects, or be otherwise assaulted by feral children shall not be infringed. Crying babies cannot be held accountable for their actions, and are therefore exempt.

Article XII: The right of reasonable alcohol consumption
No person, apart from those who are drunk and obnoxious or minors, shall be prohibited from imbibing an alcoholic beverage should they feel that it is a good idea, despite all indications to the contrary.

Article XIII: The right to private media
Reading over others’ shoulders shall not be inflicted, unless achieved in a particularly stealthy fashion causing no annoyance to the book holder. The same shall be true for films and other non-private media.

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From The Citrus Report

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Book we will be reading: Jonathan Franzen’s “Freedom”

Posted from The Citrus Report

c6aece53a7reedom.jpg Book we will be reading: Jonathan Franzen’s “Freedom” updike private lives News headlines Freedom family member enormously country citrus report characters acclaimed novel

A lot of people have wondered what happened to Jonathan Franzen after his enormously popular and critically acclaimed novel, The Corrections was published in 2001. That book was grand, big picture work on the typical if not tragic American family. Most people who read it could resonate with at least one family member, as Franzen had tapped into our psyche almost perfectly to create one of the best books of the last 25 years.

And now with Freedom, the NY Times is glowing. “With this book, he’s not only created an unforgettable family, he’s also completed his own transformation from a sharp-elbowed, apocalyptic satirist focused on sending up the socio-economic-political plight of this country into a kind of 19th-century realist concerned with the public and private lives of his characters.”

Read the full review here.

Posted By The Citrus Report

Book we will be reading: Jonathan Franzen’s “Freedom”

Posted from The Citrus Report

c6aece53a7reedom.jpg Book we will be reading: Jonathan Franzen’s “Freedom” updike typical if not the correction private lives News new york times review headlines Freedom family member enormously country corrections citrus report characters acclaimed novel

A lot of people have wondered what happened to Jonathan Franzen after his enormously popular and critically acclaimed novel, The Corrections was published in 2001. That book was grand, big picture work on the typical if not tragic American family. Most people who read it could resonate with at least one family member, as Franzen had tapped into our psyche almost perfectly to create one of the best books of the last 25 years.

And now with Freedom, the NY Times is glowing. “With this book, he’s not only created an unforgettable family, he’s also completed his own transformation from a sharp-elbowed, apocalyptic satirist focused on sending up the socio-economic-political plight of this country into a kind of 19th-century realist concerned with the public and private lives of his characters.”

Read the full review here.

Posted By The Citrus Report

Book we will be reading: Jonathan Franzen’s “Freedom”

Posted from The Citrus Report

c6aece53a7reedom.jpg Book we will be reading: Jonathan Franzen’s “Freedom” updike typical if not private lives headlines Freedom culture corrections citrus report characters book

A lot of people have wondered what happened to Jonathan Franzen after his enormously popular and critically acclaimed novel, The Corrections was published in 2001. That book was grand, big picture work on the typical if not tragic American family. Most people who read it could resonate with at least one family member, as Franzen had tapped into our psyche almost perfectly to create one of the best books of the last 25 years.

And now with Freedom, the NY Times is glowing. “With this book, he’s not only created an unforgettable family, he’s also completed his own transformation from a sharp-elbowed, apocalyptic satirist focused on sending up the socio-economic-political plight of this country into a kind of 19th-century realist concerned with the public and private lives of his characters.”

Read the full review here.

Posted By The Citrus Report

Joe Ledbetter

Joe Ledbetter” posted from: The Citrus Report | Art, Culture, News, Graffiti, Music, Street Art, Clothing, Politics, Reviews

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Joe Ledbetter – Magnus Maximus
The Minimalism of Magnus Maximus
By j.frede

There are precious few things that can be communicated widely to most all humans on the planet and accurately perceived by people from all walks of life in every culture regardless of language, religious background or geographic location. Love, Struggle, Freedom and Death are things that all humans either relate to or desire, and these are the base for the new story realized by Joe
Ledbetter in his upcoming exhibition Magnus Maximus.

Magnus Maximus, follows a young griffin from his imprisonment of his tyrant keeper oppressing the loveable beast from potential he himself is unaware of. Natural occurrences produce circumstances allowing for Magnus’ freedom, adventure and eventually true love. The story takes viewers on a classic adventure not unlike a great road trip movie, following the ups and downs and sites unseen from the naïve young character that grows and evolves over the course of the adventure.

Presented as more than 40 paintings on wood panel and paper and displayed sequential at Corey Helford Gallery in Culver City. Ledbetter began painting the series in January keeping himself locked in his studio for four straight months of painting, sometimes 10 hours a day to complete this massive new body of work with the precision and clarity he is known for. The largest panels are 4’ by 6’ and the story is filled out with smaller painted works on paper in the style of line drawings. Magnus Maximus clearly conveys the story using visualization to communicate to the viewers the artist’s intent; much like the earliest human
civilizations documented their hunts in Petroglyphs and Cave Paintings.

Posted By The Citrus Report